Is being SINGLE a CRUEL twist of fate?
I HATE being single!!!
I HATE being single!!!
I HATE being single!!!
I am soooo sick of it.

Why can't I just find someone?
It's so hard to meet ANYONE!
What is wrong with me?
Why is this happening to me?

Okay.. Sorry.
I feel better.
HI EVERYONE! :-)

Okay, nothing is wrong with me. But I admit, being single hasn't been the easiest thing for me at this time in my life. I had expectations about my life--- about getting married, settling down, having children, none of which I've had much success with yet. When we were in college, my friends and I couldn't care less about building career. We wanted meaningful relationships---we longed to find the significant other. But NO! Instead, what to we get?! A CAREER! - and the more money we make, the harder it is to find MR. WHOEVER! (I refuse to call him Mr. R_ght.)

Finding my significant other, my ONE TRUE LOVE has played a big part in my fantasy life. I hoped and imagined that this is when my life would truly begin! After all the music, movies, it will be magic---I was nothing before you, you rescued me. sigh.

CRAP.

Now that I've come to accept the harsh reality of being single, I find myself wondering---Is this my fate? My destiny, that is ultimately meant to be? Is aloneness a character fault or a cruel twist of fate: What is wrong with me? Why is this happening to me?

These days, I just can't seem to see fulfillment and being single in the same sentence.

ANGST. ANGST. ANGST.
I NEVER RUN OUT OF THEM.

So what should a successful, intelligent and beautiful single woman do?
(do not argue, this is my blog!)

Well, I can always bury myself with work, reward myself with expensive stuff.

Put on a happy face and pretend to be happy.

I read somewhere that if you act happy, you will actually be more happy. Maybe not LOL happy, but happier than you were. In other words, our behavior repeats itself until it becomes habit (and it actually takes only 21 days to develop a habit in general). I'VE ALWAYS PRETENDED TO BE HAPPY, and it has been so natural for me now, you wouldn't even notice it.

But you know, single or not, this is MY LIFE, my only life. This is not a dress rehearsal for life or a waiting room for the next relationship, but MY LIFE, now. I'm making the most out of it.

It takes a lot of courage to be single (not to mention, the courage it took me to actually write and share this with you). I know the strength it takes to maintain a healthy sense of self. I know it feels lonely not to have a relationship.

So the question is--- will I be single forever?

There is always a great temptation to settle for less. But I would rather embrace my journey of being single.

blah blah by LaraGirl @ 10:43 AM
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Comments

from  silentmode_v2 at September 28, 2004
time will tell, lara... your mr. right will come. enjoy while still single... you'll gonna miss it like i did. :)
 

from  SimpleSnob at October 29, 2004
don't fret. walang tatalo sa kin pagdating sa pagiging reyna ng singlehood. sheesh. and i so want to be arich wife soon. pano ko kaya ma-achieve yon? kahit poor boyfriend wala ako. geez.
 

from  SimpleSnob at October 29, 2004
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 

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